So you planned on NOT being here reading this blog today?
Well, neither did I. (not really, but it makes good copy) I decided to party like it was 1999 all day on the 21st and let the chips fall where they may. As was the case in 1999, nothing happened and the hangover following that minor computer date apocalypse that did not come to fruition was epic.
There were so many bad decisions that could be made with the peril of the world hanging in the balance, I decided to help you out by making as many as I could.
Bad decision number 1, cutting my hair to look like Michael Stipe, noteworthy front-man for the band REM. I felt that the authenticity I would gather while singing "It's the End of the World as We Know It" was well worth the possible ridicule. I knew the chicks would dig it.
Bad decision number 2, all that sex. Now, apocalypse sex is great mind you, a certain freedom and franticness combine to make it absolutely mind blowing. However... Being that it is Saturday, I don't believe I will be allowed in the supermarket (cleanup on aisle 10...and aisle 3)...or the daycare (the daycare lady is hot)...or the senior center...umm, or the church ever again. Macy's was a bit peeved at the view on the elevator, I didn't realize that it was only 2 floors and even I'm not that fast. I'm sure you don't need pictures to draw your conclusions, suffice it to say...it was epic, but I may be moving soon.
|Need I Say Any More?|
I'm too kind. Bad decision number 6 was the one where I gave it all away. Leading up to the 21st, I stopped doing laundry. I wore every article of clothing I own. Then I bagged it all up and took it to the homeless shelter. Sure some of it was probably unsavory smelling but obviously that's the way homeless men like it, so by pre-soiling them I was doing them a favor, right?
I could go on with my decisions of doom, but as you can see:
- I have to heal up,
- Find a place to live,
- Find a job,
- Buy some clothes in a store that doesn't recognize me,
- Rebuild my fortune,
- Pay off my creditors,
- Apologize to...well...everyone.
So the real question is should I have more remorse for the things I did or should you for not taking advantage of a once in a lifetime opportunity for stupidity? What should you have done?
Provided that the Dudes have escaped the Mayan tragedy, I will be hanging out with them this weekend. Be sure to drop by, read some great posts and vote.