Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Caught My Wife Surfin' Porn

So, I'm reading a book the other night (yes, I can read those antiquated bound pieces of paper) and I look over at my wife busily tapping on her iPad. I catch out of the corner of my eye a bra...

My wife is surfin' porn? Normally, this wouldn't be in the realm of possibility, but this was shortly after her reading the first of the 50 Shades series (which she reviewed for us on my site) so I didn't know.

Turns out, it was just some run of the mill bra shopping. No Fredericks of Hollywood, no Victoria's Secret...

Maidenform.

 

In today's world, who knew the following interchange could occur, and be considered "normal" and "ok"?

Partner 1: Hi honey, I'm home.

Partner 2: Hey, how was your day?

Partner 1: It was a good Saturday. I finished that adult novel I got at the bookstore. I almost felt a little embarrassed buying it, but I waited until the store was closer to empty and raced up to the checkout.

Partner 2: Yeah, did you get fired up?

Partner 1: A little bit. I met up with my buds and went to the strip show.

Partner 2: Yeah? Was it all you hoped it would be?

Partner 1: Well, it wasn't an all the way naked show, but the dancing was pretty erotic.

Partner 2: And did that fire you up even more?

Partner 1: Oh yeah! Race you to the bedroom.

Partner 2: I can't WAIT for the next Girl's Weekend!

Partner 1: Me neither!

So, long accused of lude behavior by the women, should men now turn the other cheek or be offended that it's ok for the ladies to read the 50 Shades series? And what about the movie, Magic Mike?

Frankly Ladies, most guys are happy to receive the benefits of these vices and won't complain a bit. For the most part, we don't care if you objectify men. Stroke our egos afterwards with great care and in the end we'll all be happy.

 

Dude Write

Why wouldn't I put this into the Starting Lineup for Friday's Dude Write?

 

32 comments:

  1. Hahaha, yeah. And Good Morning!

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  2. You know, now that you mention it, there really has been a lot of this erotica thrown in my face recently, in terms of 50 shades and Channing Tatum prancing around.

    I guess we kinda deserve it, though.

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  3. Michael G D'AgostinoJuly 5, 2012 at 4:24 AM

    We've been heading that way for a long time. Women have been "wanting it" more and more since the 90s.

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  4. Actually, we have always "wanted it," but it was considered a crime, a sin, etc. We are sexual beings because we are human.

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  5. Michael has only been alive since the 90s... Coincidence?

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  6. Michael G D'AgostinoJuly 5, 2012 at 8:05 PM

    @Rusty Hahaha it's absolutely a coincidence.
    @Nellie You seem alot more open with your sexuality than most women. But you're right, there's never been a time where women were repulsed by the idea of sex... I guess what I'm saying is that women actively seek it more these days rather than just the men.

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  7. Many women get all embarressed when it comes to porn and then some of us just have no interest in it we don't get excited or anything it is just boring for us............lol

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  8. I say `let all the peeps do their thing. I know I`m going to.`

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  9. Anne @ relationship blogJuly 6, 2012 at 9:38 AM

    Hmmmm. Is this site for men only? I feel a bit awkward here. :-)

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  10. OK, so I have been putting off writing about 50 Shades and Magic Mike for a reason, well actually it's in the hopper being developed, but a preview of it would be the fact that if a guy wrote 50 Shades, we would be all labels as sex deviants and it would be porn.

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  11. My wife is thinking about reading 50 Shades... I think it might be beneficial to me if she does! Now where is that bookstore? lol

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  12. After looking at the comments I feel almost ashamed to admit I haven't heard about "50 Shades" up until this point...anyone have a copy? For aaahm...research purposes...not for my girlfriend or anything....

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  13. I don't know that we deserve it, but if we do, we deserve the chance to point out the double standard.

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  14. I see what you did there.

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  15. Y'all may want it, but you certainly manage not to let us know it. I guess even that has its exceptions, we just always seem to want it more and sooner.

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  16. After Nellie's post, we refuse to believe you now...haha

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  17. Indeed. Do yo thang.

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  18. Not really Anne, thanks for stopping by. If you read some of my other material, you'll see the randomness about it. The last post was guest written by my wife.

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  19. SO glad it was written by a woman.

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  20. Haha, what's the worst thing that could happen. It needs to be her idea though or you're just a perv.

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  21. Objectify me, objectify me. You wife could have easily purchased ebook version of 50 Shades for her iPad and avoided the bookstore altogether. I think she wanted to be seen in public with the book. Consider the implications of that. I'm just saying...

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  22. You thought that was actually my wife? Ha! One of her female co-workers lent her the book. She swears she doesn't need to see Magic Mike, but probably will with one of her friends.

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  23. I'm not such a fan of my wife bra shopping on the internet. She usually gets something that does the job but is less than what i would call sexy. I will endure shopping at the lingerie shop just so I get the chance to say, "If you're going into the fitting room anyways, maybe you should take this racy little number along and give it a test run." Sometimes it works.

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  24. Yeah...sometimes. That and if the sales lady is hot...not sure what it is about that one.

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  25. I've never worried about my sexuality. In my early 20s I had what was termed back then as a "jumping buddy" I think its "friend with benefits" now. He was handsome, danced great and we were good friends but not looking for a relationship at the time. When the need arose, we would call each other. The need for sexual release is usually in both sexes as Nellie pointed out, human nature.

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  26. What!?!? No Fredericks of Hollywood or Victoria's Secret!?!? What is the world coming to? I remember as a teenager staying at my older sister's house for the summer and she would get those in the mail - it seemed like once a week - and I'd sneak off and read them... you know... for the articles.


    Tell Mrs. WileyGuy to step it up! Jeeesh! :-)


    Nice one!


    Michael A. Walker
    Defying Procrastination

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  27. If you haven't seen the movie Friends With Benefits, I highly recommend it. Humor for everyone.

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  28. Didn't it seem wrong to steal, err borrow for article reading only, your sisters catalogs?
    And Mrs Mynd has no problems with the aforementioned catalogs or shopping therein.

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