Thursday, June 28, 2012

I Had Been There Before

This could almost be me, except for the salary...
Deftly wheeling.

My legs, poetry in motion


Addressing the ball. Snapping.

Watching the goalie try to make decisions faster than his synapses allowed, far faster than his body could react.

Seeing the ripple of the net.

External Humility, can't rub it in.
Internal gloriousness, I've still got it!

As I've gotten older, the speed which I used to my advantage has waned ever so slightly (or so I tell myself) and I've had to use guile and trickery to achieve some of the elevation, escalation, and separation. I've had to change to allow my body to adapt.

As I've aged, time in the form of younger men have attempted to slow me down. Forces of nature have tried to keep my feet on the floor. The very floor has reached up to grab me to stymie my greatness.

One such memorable occasion, I was playing indoors on a gym floor with an oversized tennis ball. I went to pivot and the man attempting to mark me stepped inside of my plant / pivot foot. Fortune smiled upon me as my plant leg was bent partially and in some sick awareness, rather than pivot into the foot and possibly tearing everything xCL in my right knee, I was able to elevate and get enough off the ground to prohibit injury.

On another groundbreaking moment, the carpet (astro-turf) buckled in front of me just as I was lifting my right foot off of it. It grabbed, it held, I rolled my ankle and was left standing on my ankle bone. I fell in pain to the floor and was almost carted from the field. Being the man idiot that I am, I decided I could still play after taping it up, I couldn't and at worst I'd be out a week, it was 5. Bad luck!

My latest adventure has left me wondering whether I should even try. This time my body was too fast for my legs, faster than the rapidly approaching floor. I went to turn on the ball. My leg said it wasn't sure, then it said no, then it said well let's just go down. It all happened faster than my snap volley that befuddled so many a goalie.

My first thought was that I had cramped up.

My second thought was that I had a charlie horse (I'm sure this is some sort of ethnic slur against Native Americans, but its the only thing that came to mind).

I begged for Icy Hot, I looked for a proper wrap. I settled for the improper use of a knee brace tightly pulled up on my thigh. I played...because I'm the man idiot.

Yeah... as I was told later, I got kicked by charlie the horse. Probably tore something...


Yeah, I had been there before and I got up.




  1. Ouch! That is one nasty bruise. I played indoor/outdoor soccer in highschool and have been wanting to play again. I know I'm not in the same shape I was then, but this makes me afraid to see how far my body has gone. Hope you feel better soon!

  2. This is why I don't play sports. Also, I am lazy.

  3. Yeah, stretching is evidently more important as you get older...

  4. Hahaha, Nellie your candid responses slay me.

  5. See this is why I do not play
    Ok I don't play sport becuase I hate sport because I am lazy or something like that don't judge me I am allow to be lazy or judge me if you will but it will not change me this is me a big fat lazy middle aged

  6. I love sports, but alas, they do not love my older body.

  7. I play sport and I understand. I know I should be self righteous and tell you off, but I don't know if I wouldn't play on. So I will say try and take it easy


  8. Haha, we men do stupid things and playing on adrenaline is one of the worst.




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