Monday, April 30, 2012

You're NOT All That or a Bag of Chips!

OMG, Fletcher Reede Cannot Lie Either!

OMG Becky! I cannot lie!

Yes, those pants make your butt look big.

I know you love it, but your mom's chicken risotto makes me want to hurl.

I saw you cheat on the science exam in 8th grade and now I'm reporting it in hopes they pull your high school diploma because I am jealous of your success.

There's nothing wrong with your computer that a reboot won't fix, but I like to be smug and make the problem far more tragic, just to make myself look smart.

No, seriously, Barry Manilow called and wants his wardrobe back. He also said he wants all the stuff you stole from Neil Diamond.




I posted not so long ago about Please Return to Your Box about how we say things that mask what we really think. Prior to that I posted Friends Who Don't Lie about how real friends tell you the truth, sometimes making it sound caring.

I'm BACK! I'm here to tell you that:

No, I'm not offering gum to be polite! Chew it or the county is going to put a manhole cover on that sewer.

Yes, that lesion on your face that looks like a zit went rogue...is noticeable.

Whatever number of the senses that fashion is, well, you're the equivalent of Helen Keller.

I would tell you that you are uncomfortably loud, but I'd have to scream at you for you to hear it.

Your recent use of the silent treatment was a treat for once.

Dude! Please refrain from bathing in your cologne as it makes me wonder how bad the BO was that you covered up.

I'm not April Foolin' because April 30th is National Honesty Day! What an awesome concept.

Oh, sorry, it isn't National Brutal Honesty Day?

Mrs. Mynd has often indicated that she is best when she is unfiltered. Maybe I should try it?

Go Forth and Be Truthful!
 

17 comments:

  1. Every time I am honest, I end up crying. Telling the truth is awful. I would rather lie.

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  2. justkeepinitrealfolksApril 30, 2012 at 7:54 AM

    DAMN, I sure am going to piss some people off today. Thanks so much for making my day!!!

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  3. Isn't THAT the truth! Wow, great moment of levity, thanks!

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  4. Enjoy! But not too much, Deb!

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  5. If I were a superhero, I would be "Brutally Honest Woman." And then I would write a novel about my mother in law.
    Great post. 

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  6. Yeah, but the B on your chest might be misinterpreted...

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  7. I'm completely in line with the bad breath and the cologne. I would like to occasionally ask some women if their clothes came from cougars-are-us, but so far I've been able to contain myself. 

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  8. Nice, I forgot about hag tags, and all fashion faux pas.

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  9. I'm brutally honest all the time? I am unfiltered. Unless there is money involved, ice cream or cheesecake. I MAY be overly sweet *cough* if there are sweets involved! 

    GREAT post! and yes, I am still thinking/working on that header graphic for you.  I've had a bit of a norovirus bug. I think. *staggers back to bed*

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  10. Your blog is great.

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  11. And you're being brutally honest?

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  12. No worries or hurries

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  13. WOW! Not the response I was expecting! Made my entire day, though!

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  14. I am the type of woman who if I go clothes shopping with you I will tell you if the dress makes you look like a side of beef in a dress............lol In fact I remember a time many years ago I was out shopping with my sister and she tried on a dress and the sales woman is oh it looks so good on you, she looks at me and I say the colour is not you and your bum looks huge the sales woman was so shocked that I would say something like that but I like to tell it how it is...........lol

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  15. Haha, I get in trouble when I am unfiltered...

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  16.  Of course!

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