Friday, March 30, 2012

Today Was Open Mouth Ankle Surgery Day

Ever been to the dentist and felt like there was a secret bet whether they could get a basketball in there? Those who know me realize that I have a big mouth (in my big head) and fitting a volleyball might be possible.


So today was the day for a new dentist. The last dentist stopped taking the crappy insurance, so it was a giant hassle dealing with that.


So, Princess Sassy Pants, Shaggy, and Teenwolf joined me on the new dentist frontier. To add a degree of difficulty to the ordinary, I decided to lick my pollen coated car several dozen times and give myself a sinus infection, yeah!




New dentist does some stuff different, like 2 people working on me at the same time. The "helper" was "on suction" and I gotta say, I don't think I have any saliva left in my stomach, let alone my mouth. That many instruments in my big trap wasn't too pleasant. I gotta say that gone was "Mr. Slurpee" whose bent neck gently pulls out the spittle in the front. Nope, we got the "Shop Vac" treatment and the dentist commented on my lunch. I assumed she was referring to something stuck between my teeth, but she assured me that wasn't it.



Now I don't brush on a schedule, but when I do I brush too vigorously, oh and I drink too much soda and have receding gums from some combination therein. I have also never had a cavity in my life....


Until today!


So the joyful word is that my 3 cavities will only take 2 visits to fix. They are between my teeth (aren't there supposed to be "cavities" between them?) and they merely have to drill from the top to get to the sides... WHAT? That is as far as we have come as a dental aware society? "I'm sorry, sir, we're going to have to put you down."


Thanks to some wonderful genetics, the kids are all missing some of their adult teeth (as in never coming in) so they need to figure that out for PSP as she has some decay on baby teeth. PSP being far more meticulous about dental hygiene than her brothers, I am full expecting that one of them will require dentures.


Teenwolf has reported in and the word is 12 cavities. 12! Apparently he sets an alarm to wake himself up every hour to replace the sugar water soaked cotton balls in his mouth. We also found out that he was never taught to floss. Apparently he gets the floss in there and does a see-saw of pulling back and forth. That might explain him using an up and down motion when buffing his shoes.

Shaggy has also reported in with 3 more cavities. So for those of you counting and unable to scroll up to check your work, that is:

PSP - 1 iffy molar that they will seal and 1 possible baby tooth with decay that might not have a replacement.

Shaggy - 3 cavities on baby teeth that likely aren't being replaced.

Teenwolf - 12 cavities

Master Mynd - 3 cavities.


Since it has only been 8 months since our last visit to a dentist, I feel like either our last dentist had no clue or this one doesn't. OR

They've secretly replaced our fluoride injected water with sugar injected water. OR

There is a smudge on the X-ray machine, you know like when they tell you there is a tumor? (It's not a TUMA!)


I officially hate the dentist. (yes, I realize that I write a lot of dental posts)

And the sinus headache / infection is keeping me in bed, you'd think shopvac girl could have helped me out. (my sinus problem! perverts!)

1 comment:

  1. Uh oh, by the time PSP gets that dreaded dentures will be one unforgettable moment of her life, that's for sure. When mine was done at the dental clinic myrtle beach, I thought it was scary but it went well minus all the fuzz I had thought about it.




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