Friday, March 2, 2012

Dr. Seuss, the First White Rapper

I am the Snorlax, 
I speak for like Yosemite Sam!
This is NOT Zac Effron...
For those of you out of the literary know, Dr. Seuss's birthday is March 2nd and normally coincides with major reading days at all the elementary schools.

In combination with the release of "The Lorax" featuring Zac Effron, (sigh!) this year's Seuss birthday features many guest readers to include a video with Tim Tebow reading Green Eggs and Ham.

This post is dedicated to Dr. Seuss, whose real name is Theodor Seuss Geisel. My favorites are One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, Green Eggs and Ham, Mr. Brown Can Moo, and Horton Hears a Who, plus everyone's favorite Holiday book The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

I've never been a fan of the Cat in the Hat.

Vanilla Ice, Eminem and the rest don't have a thing on this Tall stripedy-hat rapper cat.

Dr. Seuss can rhyme, can you?
Take him on, in short time this decision you'll rue.

End your Eminem rhymes with bloo blah you can,
Alive, begging for mercy from Seussicide you'll plan.

One Ball, Two Ball, Red Ball, Blue Ball,
Mom hooked up with a milkman now you ain't tall.

You're dying to show you're terribly clever,
Like grumpy in Green Eggs and Ham, never.

He's been rapping since depression was great,
beat you, he will with ham and eggs green on his plate.

At rap battles he would be epic indeed,
making stuff up to rhyme all the time was his creed!

Envious you are of his rhymes, yeah you're green,
Look away now, he just gutted your spleen.

You, like the elephant will never forget,
Mad skills on the mic rapping blood he will let.

An old man beat-down you might think a cinch,
This tough ole buzzard got mean with a grinch.

The Mister Rogers look was truly a crime,
But like Fitty Cent now, he was the original dime.

Who Can, You Can, Toucan, Do,
We Shall, He Shall, Oh Pal, You're Through!

Taken from the scene in 1991,
His books live on after his life was done.

You'd think that death might silence his voice,
But that ain't the plan for ole doctor Seuss.
(he pronounced it to rhyme with voice... look it up)

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

 Add some (clean) lines if you dare...


  1. justkeepinitrealfolksMarch 2, 2012 at 9:42 AM

    DANG, You are a mighty fine rapper boy!!!!!

  2. I think most rappers probably think of a lot of this on the fly, whereas it took me like 2 days, lol.

  3. While I repsect Dr. Seuss' abilites as a poet, William Shakespeare says "Hi, I was rappin' centuries before you were born"...

  4. Is that from one of the epic rap battles videos?

  5. Dr Seuss started as a political cartoonist, circa WWII, if you can track down the collection it is worth a look.

    But damn!!! white boy got game...

    ... I can't speak hip hop

  6. In truth I had to watch '8 mile' a lot as research. I almost think he's a tour de force actor and Kim Basinger is hot as trailer trash now...that's a cry for help people!

  7. Ooh, I like this, very clever White Guy Rapping! 
    I saw lots of Seuss posts this week, this one may be my favourite. I loved the Lorax best of all, and now I want to see the flick with Jailbait Efron and Betty White.... gotta see it!

  8. Thanks Brahm, this was one of those "I gotta do it" posts because my son made the stache in the picture to use while reading to the elementary school (love a 9th grader who wants to help the elementary kids!) and he let me try it on, the picture and the post came next. Thanks for stopping by and for following after one post!

  9. I love Dr. Seuss. Jeff too, infact we got together at a Halloween party 11 years ago when I was dressed like Cat In The Hat. Over the years wo have bought two signed editions of his work. Always a special spot in our lives for the magic he created. Cheers Rob Beall 

  10. Thanks Rob, hope you enjoyed my lame attempt. I'd be funnier, but you know where I went to high school.




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