Friday, January 20, 2012

When the Dead Sea Had a Pulse...

So, today is my birthday.  Bring on the mockery.  46.

Yes, as part of the modern stone age family, I had a pet dinosaur. (Gino, he was an Italian Pepperonasaraus)

Yes, I was cold before I figured out fire.

Even back then, I thought the Mayans were pretentious to pick an end of the world date.

I don't plan to live forever, I've seen how that worked out for Michael Jackson, so if my math is correct, I'm on the other side of life and it feels exceedingly weird actually writing that. I have begun craving Geritol, but still can't eat brussel sprouts. 

46 is like 19. (only older) It's not that noteworthy. It's not epic. It's no turning point. 
Like then, I'm modifying my license to make myself older, this time for the AARP card and 30% senior discount on coffee at IHop. (Steve Jobs favorite restaurant)

Yesterday, I fell and couldn't get up.  I needed the life alert button but instead I lay there reaching for the phone that was just out of my reach. I knew I should have ordered the Rascal scooter.

Things I remember fondly:

- "A penny for your thoughts, a nickel for a kiss, and a dime if you tell me that you love me." - Penny is the girl on Big Bang Theory and she appears to kiss a lot of people, but otherwise pennies are an annoyance that people are actually throwing in the trash.  You can get anyone's two cents for much less than that and believe me it is often worth less. This is an old saying and I imagine my grandchildren will eventually ask what a penny was.

- my hair - I don't really miss it that much since I shaved it all off.  It takes my barber a long ime to cut that special "skin yamulka" into my hair along with the high widows peak.

- Saturday morning cartoons - oh, sure, they're still on and my kids still watch them, but they aren't the same. For those of us who grew up prior to cable and the cartoon network, where there is always some cartoon on, Saturday morning was the time when the parents slept in and we got to watch some zany kid madness.

- Hip Hop you could understand..nuff said.

- two steps - at least that's hopefully the only steps I've lost.  Being one of the fastest kids on the block and having only lost 4 foot races in my life (Bill S, Mike A, Mike S, Rob F) I would love to have those legs back for a few days and the lungs to make them go a long way.



Age Increases...

Immaturity stays the same.





  1. Yes, your quote at the end is my typical birthday sentiment.  Growing older is mandatory, growing mature is optional...

  2. Indeed Roy. Thanks for the comment.

  3. Happy birthday!  I really enjoy your writing.

  4. Hey thanks! And thanks for reading along.

  5. Happy Birthday for the other day mate




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