So my good buddy over at Jay's Ramblings has a "Would You Rather" feature that is supposed to be light and fluffy decisions like A. have a view of the beach or B. have a view of snow capped mountains? So in his most recent effort, he has gone a little dark, asking if I would like a Safe View of a Great White Shark or a Siberian Tiger?
No brainer folks... Tiger. I would rather have an unsafe view of the Tiger than have to look at the picture again. In researching this post, I had to find pictures of sharks and lets just say "not wanting to go back in the water?" umm I don't want to go back to the browser window!
|This is my favorite part...|
Don't go believing all the Jacques Cousteau nonsense about Sharks not being understood. Who fuzzin' cares? I don't understand Mike Tyson and I also don't want to hang out with him, especially when he's listening to Phil Collins.
|I'm Tired of the...|
Like Samuel L. Jackson, I'm "tired of these M...F... sharks on this M...F... movie" ok, he never said that, but he was in Deep Blue Sea which was a movie about Genetically Smarter Sharks with evil plots to eat pretty girls. (I'm sure it still is a movie about that, but I am striking it from my consciousness (apparently AGAIN))
Like the bigger boys in the pool where I grew up, sharks are hell bent on drowning me. I've got a big fear of drowning. Pretty much I've got a big fear of not breathing. Who doesn't right? I guess my fear would be considered unhealthy by some. I don't care. I swim in a pool, by myself, at night,
|Hello, My Name is Bruce!|
|Are you talkin' to ME!|
So I don't swim in the ocean that often. When I do, I take my children with me because
I get a bit of the hibby-jibbys (no iPad, not the hobby jobs) riding in a boat. To this day I am still not sure how I ever went Jet Skiing. If I can't see the bottom, I get a creepy "something's lurking" feeling. I don't exactly like driving across big bridges. Though I've been told that the impact of hitting the water from a jump off of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge would kill me, I still think about if I didn't die from that, how awful drowning would be. Would I get out of the car? If I got out of the car, would that giant obviously non-lethal bleeding head wound draw out the sharks? Would it be worse to drown in the car or drown in the mouth of a shark? Would I have enough oxygen to die from the head wound before I ran out of oxygen?
I'm going to take a Valium now. Maybe a handful.
|Drive off the Bridge, I'll Catch You!|