A wise man once said:
"Don't start V A S T projects with half-vast ideas!"
In that spirit, I bring you the truly random. Things that pass through my head. Some of these were aided by others along the way and credit has been given where due. I'm not hoping to sound like Andy Rooney here,
but I just might wonder why.
How do you throw away a trash can? I've tried. Garbage men ignore them. I tried putting the decrepit old trash can out at the curb empty. I'm sure there were some puzzled looks, but it didn't seem to have moved later that day after the rest of the trash was taken. I put a sign on it that said "This is Trash!" and I imagine there was quite the "Who's on first" moment where they still didn't see any trash in the can, but they took the sign, since it was obviously trash. The next trash day, I put another sign that said "Please Take This!" and as you can imagine, when I arrived home, the sign was gone. I think they're just messing with me now. I could simply put a better sign that says "The Trash Can is Trash, Please take the trash can!" but I can't take any more rejection so I am going to mark it as an heirloom and pass it on to my children (like we do all the trash in the landfills where it would end up anyway). Or I could go all "slasher movie" on it and cut it into small pieces and put it in a non-biodegradable trash bag and leave that out with a note that says "The Garbage Man made me do it!"
Why do Geese fly in a V shape? (Question courtesy of Teenwolf)
Jay of JaysRamblings notes that it is simply because an E is too complicated. Now, doubtless some of you went to the Disney movie, but hockey is played on ice and Geese migrate away from the cold, but are often found in "warmer" climates on the ice, but not in a V formation, so clearly...NO!
I'm going to say they have (like all of us) seen Top Gun and heard ... "I'm NOT leaving my wing-man"
So, do you think the Goose in the front ever says to himself ...
"I'll hit the brakes and they'll fly right by?"
(Clearly not, since Goose wasn't the pilot)
Tangent Alert: Did you remember that Maverick's "real name" was Pete Mitchell, but who knew that it was Nick "Goose" Bradshaw? Yeah, me neither. And now back to your regularly scheduled cosign.
But why in a V and not a straight line? Let's think about the view for a minute.
Who do you think decides who gets to fly in front? Is there an Alpha-Goose? (I've heard of Gizmo Duck and Darkwing Duck, but not Alpha-Goose) Is there a pecking order (see what I did there?) Or does it start like a slow clap?
|Which way DOES it go?|
What is the natural condition of the Toilet seat? I can't believe I'm going to say this...but (the punishment continues) I'm going to have to go with DOWN. Let me explain:
|I'm not using anything |
that looks like a water fountain!
Gravity says anything other than all the way open and leaning against the tank... the seat is falling down. Even when it appears to be all the way open and leaning against the tank, have you ever had it fall down in mid-relief (not the pitcher in baseball) - can I get a show of hands? Yeah, none of them are women. If we don't have gravity, the seat can stay up, but the water would also not stay IN the bowl... completely unheard of...except in France where they have that stupid Bidet thing. Tangerine Alert: I haven't seen a seat on any bidets, so clearly gravity doesn't occur in their presence? Now back to the Orange. So I'm going to have to put it back down. Oh, and don't be one of those guys who think your aim is that good that you can leave the seat down.
whose head appears
to be an Altoids box