Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Victoriously Twain

Has anyone else noticed that Victoria Justice looks a lot like Shania Twain?

Yeah, my extensive research has shown that hot women pictured in a blog lead to more comments, followers, general bloggy goodness. My extensive research can be reviewed here :

(You can't argue with research... Why do you doubt me?)

How about the fact that Doppelgänger looks nothing like "looks a lot like??"

Our "friend" Wikipedia defines Doppelgänger as follows: In fiction and folklore, a doppelgänger (German "double walker") (pronounced [ˈdɔpəlˌgɛŋɐ] ( listen)) is a paranormal double of a living person, typically representing evil or misfortune. In the vernacular, the word has come to refer to any double or look-alike of a person.

That's like the difference between the middle of the universe and the center of the universe.  Middle of the Universe is some astro-physicky thing that will be debated by people like Carl Sagan and Al Gore.  Center of the Universe is me, well unless you ask my wife, or Al Gore.

How about this guy and Anthony "Goose" "Dr. Greene" Edwards (yes, it does look like I advocated an inappropriate act with him, but no I'm not asking that you goose him)

When my son was very young Dr. Mark Greene was featured on the cover of TV Guide. My son was thrilled that I was on the cover of a magazine and told everyone that I was. One of the best weeks of my life when that went down.

I definitely see the Dr. Greene, but some have also made a Marshall Mathers reference, yeah Eminem. Clearly my double of misfortune.  I rap more like Vanilla Ice than 8 Mile here.

So, why, you might ask would I know who Victoria Justice is?  First, I'm not dead.  Second, I have a seven year old daughter who wants to be her. Third, I have two teenage boys who, well, let's not get into their "tolerance" of Ms. Justice, on behalf of their sister of course!

Now, Shania...< sigh > long have I pined after / for her. Yeah, giant coniferous tree. What?!  I looked around on my favorites phrases site to understand "pined after" with very little luck. 

I saw the obvious "riding the pine" which refers to sitting on a bench made of pine during a sporting event that you anticipated playing in (hanging prepositions are back people!)

I also found pine box references which are death / coffin examples.

So, apparently people have been using this word combination for a long time with no real understanding of why.  That seems strange to me.  Apparently, and not surprisingly, all "pine after" roads seem to lead to William Shakespeare (who is like Cher, Bono, Gaga, and Jordan in that only one name is necessary, as in Shakespeare... ("No the other Shakespeare" isn't something you hear often (oh, look nesting parentheses are back too))) Now, since Shakespeare doesn't seem like the athletic type, I doubt he confused a baseball-ish reference when writing.  He was likely either thinking "I feel like a tree that never loses its color, without you." or perhaps more likely "I wouldst rather have myself die and put in a pine box after the death of thee!" (only it would be more rhymey). There mystery solved.

And that friends is how you blog randomly... (and with ellipsises)


  1. Congratulations!  I believe that was your most random blog to date.

  2. Random, perhaps...entertaining always! nd really impressive ellipses...yet again.

  3. Bklynonce=Susan Says,btw.

  4. Of course!

    Autocorrection Typos courtesy of iPhone

  5. my son watches Victorious and iCarly whenever he is home from school, so I get my fair share of Miss Justice

  6. Somehow I am just not seeing the resemblance between the Victorious girl and the bad Canadian Country singer.  Maybe that says more about me than it does them?  Or maybe I just don't have enough frame of reference on either...  (Ellipses!)  Since I am not a tweenager or a country music fan... (Double ellipses!!)  Probably both. 




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