So after my daughter came down with Strep Throat recently, my wife concludes (as with all things) it is surely my fault. I must be a carrier.
|USS Strep Throat...not to be confused with the Good Ship Lollipop|
I harbor parasites.
My ship has come in carrying fame and fortune.
Perhaps it also lives in my naval?
It makes a little bit of twisted sense, I am the only human in the house with Tonsils. Not sure why I still have them, given my childhood history of allergies and sore throats, and of course my love of ice cream should have had me begging for surgery. My wife's tonsils were so large they could almost close her throat when inflamed. Those were the genetic tonsils passed on to the kids.
Personally, I blame the cat, but I can't find scientific evidence on Wikipedia to support that, but this has to be conclusive visual evidence... I see white spots...
Cat poop contains Toxoplasma Gondii (no, not that Ghandi) which is a nasty infectious critter that pregnant women should avoid, so why shouldn't we believe they harbor Strep Throat?
If we kiss the cat, are we going to get Strep? We should ask Katy Perry, cause that chick kisses anything for a song.
So it seems that based on scientific study, 1 in 10 people carry the bacteria Streptococcus pyogenes which is Strep Throat. Similarly, people carry Staph and some of the bacteria that causes pneumonia. Yup, serious cooties living among us... Y'all are just walking zombies.
So, you'd think there was some secret society for carriers of famous bacteria, but there isn't, I checked. No League of Extraordinary Bacterial Colonies. It could be that said society exists and I simply don't have what it takes to be a member, such is my life. I am always an underdog (not THE Underdog) and my bacteria and I will always get picked last in basketball, well in front of the kid in the wheelchair... unless he sits really tall in the saddle. They will rue the day, my bacteria got game.
That is, err, the CAT'S bacteria got game!
***My wife doesn't blame me for all things, just for blaming her for blaming me for all things, which I suppose now she has documented evidence of (hanging preposition, yes!)